costa rica car rental and mini existential crisis'_ day 15

costa-rica-car-rental-and-mini-existential-crisis-nicaragua-day-15-5.jpg

AUX cable included, patience sold separately

You're never really waiting if you're not waiting in your mind. Say you're in a queue and you're looking at your watch. You're watching the line progress and you're worrying. That's when you're waiting. But if you're in line and you're being mindful, and curiously observing what's going on around you, then you only just happen to be in a line. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

We are waiting for the car rental, and in this time I've been catching up on my blogs and listening to music and got a bit of yoga in on the grass patch here. 

Travel culture is interesting. From what I've seen no one wakes up any later than 9 AM. My median wake up time is about seven-ish, eight-ish.

Okay we've waited for the car for two hours now. I'm zen but I'm not that zen. 

costa-rica-car-rental-and-mini-existential-crisis-nicaragua-day-15.jpg

Car games 

Chris just said "I could just never be satisfied with just existing."

And we talked about our parents' lives and our projections onto them about what we consider to be a happy and fulfilling life. In fact, I had a similar conversation with Carly who's now in Toronto and going through an existential awakening of her own. She said she refuses to live a mediocre life. And I have had this feeling for the past year. I'm scared of suburbia and I'm scared of settling. More than that I’m scared of complacency, in relationships and in valuing time. I'm scared of Cineplex, watching other people's lives because we're bored or scared to confront our own. I mean think about that. That's literally all a movie is for. I'm scared of shopping malls and submission. 

costa-rica-car-rental-and-mini-existential-crisis-nicaragua-day-15-4.jpg

No plates, no problem

We stopped at a grocery store and bought sandwich materials. I made them in the car as we were driving. Avocado slipping everywhere, tomato juice in places where one should never have tomato juice. We're using our laps as plates and we have avocado all over our shirts. I asked him if he was bothered by the mess. He laughed and said no. Same. 

costa-rica-car-rental-and-mini-existential-crisis-nicaragua-day-15-7.jpg

I scarfed mine down in record time. Meanwhile one hour later Chris had forgotten he had set his down on his lap. How does one forget they have uneaten food? I don't understand this breed of human. When he said, "oh! I'd forgotten I had this," in his English accent, I laughed harder than I have in a while. 

I told him we have two hours left. We've been driving for two hours. And the duration of the trip was supposed to be two hours. And he reacted,"alright cool". 

costa-rica-car-rental-and-mini-existential-crisis-nicaragua-day-15-2.jpg

I just got a funny text

My friend said, "I don't know how I could ever travel without a plan." I would have agreed a few weeks ago. In my response I was forced to think and become conscious of why people are able to travel without a plan. If you always take care of now then you're never not taken care of.

costa-rica-car-rental-and-mini-existential-crisis-nicaragua-day-15-6.jpg

Here's something people don't talk about

I just got off the phone with Carly and we talked about why travelling is hard. Maybe people don't talk about this because travelling is meant to be quite the opposite. You re-evaluate your life and your values and your future. When I'm travelling I don't have the distraction of work, the hustle, the routines, the life-long plans, the screen time dependency. Being forced to be present is often eyeopening but it's also confronting. 

costa-rica-car-rental-and-mini-existential-crisis-nicaragua-day-15-3.jpg

This is weird

I've actually noticed that when I'm listening to music, at times I'll hit next on a song regardless if I was enjoying it or not. I clued in that I do this subconsciously when I have a thought I'm uncomfortable with. It's like I want to hit next on the thought and distract myself with a different tune. So upon noticing this, what I've been doing recently is just taking out my headphones and observing my thoughts objectively. 

Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog. Scroll all the way down to the bottom to hit next!

That's it that's all.

xx,

 
MichelleBaliSignature.jpg